We make promises to others we wouldn't think of breaking: our spouses, friends, our business partners our coworkers. Yet, we have no problems breaking the promises we make to ourselves. "I won't waste time on useless sites", "I'll stop procrastinating", "I'll do better", "I won't lose my temper", "I won't drink anymore", the list goes on and on. We let ourselves break those promises, even the same ones over and over. How much longer will we let this go on? We wouldn't tolerate this behavior from others, yet we do it to ourselves. "Self-esteem is just the reputation that you have with yourself. You'll always know." - Naval Ravikant. No one else may not know but you always will. How many more promises are you going to keep breaking to yourself? Is this how you would treat your family and friends? Maybe this is the reason why you have doubts. You've encountered your own example of the many t...
What is good test to determine how you really feel about someone? Try sitting in silence with them. No matter where you are, how you are feeling, how they are feeling, try sitting in silence with them. If you feel uncomfortable and they feel uncomfortable, the bond isn't as strong as you think.
Being able to sit with someone in silence and not be concerned that you have to fill it up with conversation says a lot about the bond. Being able to sit in silence and be at peace, is a great indicator of the status of that relationship. It shows that you really are not concerned about how they perceive you or are unsure about where you stand with them.
This is very difficult to do with most people. We all have associations and memories and issues with almost everyone. Even strangers. As human beings we tend to judge everything that comes into our world. It's a survival tactic so we can assess whether something is a danger to us. Since most of us are removed hostile environments, this judging system goes down the next tier of judging.
"I don't like what they are wearing"
"Look at that hair"
"What is that on his face?"
"She seems like a mean person."
"He looks like my uncle Ray."
When you can go beyond judging and sit in silence with someone, you are at peace. When this peace and silence fills the relationship, it's a great way to know this person belongs in your life.