We make promises to others we wouldn't think of breaking: our spouses, friends, our business partners our coworkers. Yet, we have no problems breaking the promises we make to ourselves. "I won't waste time on useless sites", "I'll stop procrastinating", "I'll do better", "I won't lose my temper", "I won't drink anymore", the list goes on and on. We let ourselves break those promises, even the same ones over and over. How much longer will we let this go on? We wouldn't tolerate this behavior from others, yet we do it to ourselves. "Self-esteem is just the reputation that you have with yourself. You'll always know." - Naval Ravikant. No one else may not know but you always will. How many more promises are you going to keep breaking to yourself? Is this how you would treat your family and friends? Maybe this is the reason why you have doubts. You've encountered your own example of the many t...
Family for good and bad, will always be a part of your identity. If you are fortune enough to have had a good family, then it can be a source of pride and belonging. Even if you grew up with the worst family, you can't define yourself without acknowledging their influence on you and thus being a part of your identity. How you view them is up to you, however you can't eliminate them from your identity.