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we all have a meeting with our fate we are all destined to do what we came here to do we all have that moment when we realize this is it we are the choice to act on it or not our free will is to decide to act on our fate or not our fate chooses us, we choose to do or not to do if you free will not to do, your life may be fine but it will not be fulfilled and there always be a longing if you fate, you will become fully realized  

It doesn't matter what they look like, how old they are, how big or small. They all have broken hearts that needs mending. Nothing physical on a person really matters. Some of us have disabilities that everyone can see. Those disabilities become the catalyst to hasten the bond, if it breaks, it was weak to begin with, if it becomes stronger, there was nothing that could have kept you two apart.   It's discovering the kind of person they are and what you admire and learn from them.  It’s discovering who you are through their eyes. You have to overcome what you see and feel with your eyes to determine who they are. If their disability is that are very attractive, you have be able to overcome that lens and see deeper, if they are unattractive to your view, you have to uncover what they are beyond that.  The truth lies in determining if they are worth the effort it takes to remove your filter. We think that once i get to know them,  I will decide to l...

Trying to make someone or ourselves behave better or different through punishment is instilling fear to modify the behavior. The fear makes us immobilized and less likely to change because we are pushing against an external influence. Can it work? Sure, if you make the stick big enough.  A better way is to plant the reason for change from within.  It is next to impossible to ignore is pressure that comes from within. It is always with us, the beating drum getting stronger as the pressure increases. Trying to ignore it or bury it, gives strength to the beat and it grows louder.  What fosters change is accepting and giving love which will give energy to make the change.  We try to punish ourselves into a being a good person, or a changed person. We don't need more punishment, we need more love.  

           We all have regrets. Things that we wish we had done differently, things that we believe would have be “better” if we had made a different choice. If we only had tried harder, pushed more, turned left. We tend to dwell more on these things when times are hard or we are in trouble. When things aren’t going well, we tend to narrow our vision of the past on things that we believe would have led to a different outcome.             Perhaps if we done some things differently, it would be different. Those changes would have a ripple effect on your entire life. The things bring happiness now would also be different. If you were conceived a few minutes later or before when you were actually conceived, you might not exist. No more you. We may have regrets about some of the choices we made, but we also have the good things with those regrets.

     In our culture to make everyone as comfortable as possible (participation trophies, not keeping score, include everyone , etc), we miss out on the valuable lessons of being uncomfortable, not to mention the lessons from pain. The problem with getting out of pain is that it removes the drive to change.       Being uncomfortable makes us take notice, being in pain forces us to look at ourselves. We love talking about other people's troubles and pain because it allows us to focus on their problems and distracts us from looking within. People will do anything and everything as long as they don't have to look at how they are responsible for how they are feeling. Most of us don't want to admit that who we are and how we feel is mostly nurture and not nature. The shape of our ears or how our second toe is taller that our big toe is not up to us. What we think, how we feel, who we blame and what we do is all on us.  

     What is good test to determine how you really feel about someone? Try sitting in silence with them. No matter where you are, how you are feeling, how they are feeling, try sitting in silence with them. If you feel uncomfortable and they feel uncomfortable, the bond isn't as strong as you think.       Being able to sit with someone in silence and not be concerned that you have to fill it up with conversation says a lot about the bond. Being able to sit in silence and be at peace, is a great indicator of the status of that relationship. It shows that you really are not concerned about how they perceive you or are unsure about where you stand with them.        This is very difficult to do with most people. We all have associations and memories and issues with almost everyone. Even strangers. As human beings we tend to judge everything that comes into our world. It's a survival tactic so we can assess whether somethi...

            It is easier to be negative because it is a lower level of energy. It takes more energy to be positive. It’s easier to find the bad things, the wrong things, the things that don’t work. It takes a lot more energy to create, build, praise and uphold than to critique what is already created. We’ve all been battered through life with bad things and it’s much easier to wallow in it than to pick yourself up. In order to pick yourself up, you have to realize that it’s on you, your effort, your energy. It’s easier to blame others, talk about others because it doesn’t force us to look in the mirror and realize the bad things might be our fault. This isn’t to justify people being negative, it’s just an explanation. People naturally tend to take the path of least resistance. Least resistance is how our species evolved.               Our biology has developed to conserve energy because ...

     No matter how meaningless or painful, however dead life appears, you have to go on. You have to continue if not for yourself, than for everyone that comes after and for the people you will affect, influence or alter. You may not see your effects on others but your ripple is felt across the entire ocean of humanity. We may not always feel the effect but your presence touches every drop, every wave, every tide.     Your mere presence, even if you don't feel like your life matters, affects us all. Life itself seems to always turn towards an infinite meaningless, discouraging, down trodden, dispirited and the despair in which there is nothing. But however meaningless, however dead life appears, there is always someone of faith, energy, warmth who steps in and doesn't let themself be destroyed. This person steps in and does something, hangs on, survives, lives and breaks the meaningless.     Go, continue, live, survive because we are all depending o...

When I was 7, years old my grandmother died. I had only known her for two years before she passed away. She was a sweet old gentle lady and through her broken Italian English,   I understood that she loved me, she cared for me and wanted to hug me. All the time. She also made the best raisin bread. Peperidge Farm couldn’t come close. When she passed away, people would come up my family and say “I’m sorry”. Why were they sorry? They weren’t responsible? Why were they saying that to us? This really confused me. When I got older, much older, I realized that when people say, “I’m sorry” they mean that they are saying, “I’m sorry for your loss.” I can understand that. They are saying we are sorry that you have this lose in your life. This person is no longer here.             I don’t know how the universe works or what exactly happens when someone dies. I do know that when someone does die, to me, there really is no loss...

How do you tell someone that they are going to die? Most physicians at some point in their career will have to actually do this. No matter how old or young the patient, there doesn't seem to be a good way to say this.  "Are you sure?" is the first response. "Yes" The second is, "How long?" "Not very long." What amount of time is really enough when you deliver this news? I'm reminded of the quote from Michael Landon when he found out he had cancer. "Someone should tell us, right at the start of our lives, that we are dying." When you're staring at someone that you tell this to, there is never enough time. Is hours, days or minutes enough? Does time even mater at this point? Undone dreams, incompleted projects, unsaid goodbyes, ungiven forgiveness, unfelt love. They all need more time. How would you tell someone their time is up? Then realize, that the person you have to say this to is you.